Obviously, there are many different paths to and aspects of happiness. Happiness is never attained, but instead because life appears to be a fleeting experience of moments; We may experience happiness in one moment and in the next, find it gone.
Everyone is unique in the experiences they have, emotional intelligence, and their process for helping themselves grow or maintain more of those happy moments. I explain how I came to find my own happiness and enlightenment in my book Conquering Self, but sustaining happiness is different than having a conscious awareness of how you sustain happiness. As I mentioned before, there are numerous factors that affect happiness. I would like to specifically touch on the aspect of our emotions, positive and negative, and how to help sustain those positive emotions while allowing those negative emotions to dissipate more readily.
The other day, I became aware of my process for sustaining happiness or homeostasis when it comes to emotion and so I would like to share that with you in hopes that it may help you discover a process for sustained happiness within yourself. For me, it all comes down to my reflection on my emotions in the moment. When experiencing positive emotions that add value to your life, it’s important to be focused on the present moment. If happiness is our ultimate goal, then when we are happy, wouldn’t it make sense for us to stop everything we are doing and enjoy that happiness? To be consumed by the present moment and focus on your happiness will not only make that happiness last longer, but it will also be a more fulfilling experience for you.
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
And so, if you find yourself within happiness, don’t question it. Instead, enjoy it. Enjoy it without being attached to it. Enjoy it even though you know it won’t last forever. Enjoy it while you have it and once it dissipates, be content in the fact that at some point it will be back.
The more prevalent issue we may experience is when we are consumed by negative emotion. Sometimes we may find ourselves giving in to negative thoughts, bringing ourselves down mentally, and succumbing to a negative imagination that takes a single negative thought and multiplies it into an entire negative reality you mentally place yourself into.
I have always been able to manage those thoughts within myself and bring myself back to reality and positive thinking, but I was never very clear on my process for doing it. I always did it unconsciously.
I’ve realized now that it still comes down to my reflect on emotions within the moment. Whenever I am feeling upset, doubtful, angry, depressed, anxious, jealous, or whatever other toxic emotion I may feel, I take a step back outside of that emotion and question it. I acknowledge the emotion, then I question where it came from. Why am I feeling that emotion? What are the factors that caused this emotion? Two things can happen at this point:
I realize, based on the facts of the situation, that the emotion is not warranted.
I realize, based on the facts of the situation, that the emotion is warranted.
If I realize that the emotion is not warranted (for instance if I am angry at a friend for not showing up to an appointment because of something that was out of their control), then I can often times change my attitude about the situation and in turn convert that toxic emotion into a more manageable one.
If I realize that the emotion is warranted, then I reflect on it further. Instead of blaming an external factor for my emotions, which is the much easier path, I question my internal drivers for that emotion. Why does this upset me? What is it within me that is reacting with this emotion?
The interesting thing is, no matter what the situation, the emotion, or the path of reflection I take to get there, I always end up at the same conclusion.
In the end, I always find peace through the idea of infinity.
Allow me to explain.
When I remind myself of infinity and the insignificance of the many things that might upset us, I am able to remove myself from those emotions and find contentment in the fact that nothing in this physical world can destroy me; my essence.
Nothing that may upset or anger me can destroy my existence as a positive driving force for life.
Even when I physically die, whether there is something afterwards or not, the happy moments I’ve manifested and continue to manifest in the world around me will ripple through the end of time. Nothing this world throws at me, nothing that I fall into, nothing within the physical realm of this reality can destroy me or the positive ripples in time I have already created.
Even if my castle crumbles and I’m laying on a pile of rubble, I still exist exactly as I am today. In fact, I exist stronger because not only am I the same as today, but I am more having had the experience of my castle crumbling.
No matter what emotion may come over me, I know that it’s simply an insignificant piece of my entire existence that transcends the perceived reality of our world.
I am infinite. You are infinite.
And you can’t crush infinity.
Everything you have already done in this life will travel through the universe for infinity. Your affect on other people will at some point transcend their physical lives and continue to affect humanity through time.
It is not this realization alone that brings me back to a peaceful contentment from toxic emotion. In conjunction with this realization, I am also reminded that my future experience is a constant variable. I come to terms with the fact that nothing is set in stone. Everything changes moment by moment and there are an infinite amount of changes we will never have any control over.
Nothing is forever and so anything could be gone tomorrow.
- My family
- My friends
- My loving relationship with my girlfriend
- My job
- My freedom
- My motor functions
It could all be gone in the next fleeting moment. Your past experience is not a direct indication of your future experience. Because of that, I remain detached to any future projections that may bring me pain or negative emotion. The idea of loss is a mental creation. We can’t lose something we never had. You don’t possess moments, you experience them and although everything could change in the next moment, we still have this current moment.
All the problems I thought I had become very tiny when compared to the infinite universe that we exist within. This world of infinite change. Change is always going to affect my reality, but nothing can ever affect my response to those changes except myself…
…and it’s my response to change that will transcend my physical world and ripple through infinity.
That’s my process for eliminating negative emotion! Whenever you are feeling an undesirable emotion, reflect on it, fully understand where it’s coming from, and remind yourself that nothing last forever except for the impact you make on the world during the moments you are present.
What affect are you having on infinity?